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Friday, February 2, 2018

Long stories with no photos

I just need to tell someone what's going on. This is kind of my journal diary. Both stories I'm about to relate involve my husband.

First story.Hugh goes fishing when it works out health-wise and weather-wise, etc. In the last 2 or 3 months he's only gone twice. Both times he's encountered near-to-dying illegal immigrants. This never happened until Trump cracked down on border security. Now the coyotes are bringing the illegals to where it's safe to cross, but not survivable. These people get money sent from relatives in the US and pay the coyotes. Anywhere from 1 to 2 thousand a person. Logic would tell you there must be many corpses in the Lower Canyons and Black Gap WMA (where Hugh fishes).

 Last trip, as he was leaving,  he encountered 3 men who were at the end of their rope. Hugh had already discarded the left over water from his 30 gallon drum before he spotted them so he had very little water to give them, unfortunately. I think he took them as far as the highway (25 miles) and pointed them in a direction where, if they could make it, they could find help.

But this week he arrived at his fishing spot on Tuesday and soon after he set up he spied a young boy (about 16) watching him, but fearful to approach. Finally, Hugh, in his broken Spanish, got the boy to approach. He was nearly crippled from walking forever and could only hobble haltingly. So Hugh cared for and fed the boy for 3 days. He had only taken food for one but managed to find a few things in his chuck-box besides sharing all he had brought in his ice chest, etc. The boy had some freeze-dried food in his pack. He wasn't starving like the others had been, but he could no longer walk, and of course had no water. He wasn't well and had no way to warm himself during some of the recent cold spells. He was alone and they never travel alone, especially that young, so Hugh assumes his companions didn't survive. The boy had brothers he was trying to get to in South Carolina. I'm sure they sent him the money for the venture.

Hugh offered to take the boy to the highway and turn him loose or take him to the police. The boy chose the police, so Hugh called from the Stillwell Store and the sheriff came and picked up the boy. Hugh vows to take extra food next fishing trip. But this is a tragedy unfolding here in the Big Bend and it's either not known, or being kept quiet.

Next story. After Hugh got home today he headed for a hot shower. Normally he showers at 5 PM sharp, but today he felt really grungy after three shower-less days. Apparently, I found out later, he took a hotter and longer shower than he had ever before. And I found out much later that when he went to get out of the shower he felt confused, like couldn't figure out how to turn off the shower type thing. But all I knew at the time was that he came into the dining room where I was watching TV and plopped down in a nearby chair. He said he felt faint. He's 75. In the last 14 yrs we've been together it's not the first time he felt dizzy or faint so I continued watching TV. Seconds later I noticed he was passing out. In all our years together he had never passed out (even if he was too drunk to stand up). I rushed to keep him from falling off the chair. It seemed he wasn't breathing.

My brain stopped computing and I panicked. In hindsight I can see what had happened, but at the time I thought he was having a heart attack and was dying. So I called 9-1-1, then dropped him to the floor as gently as I could, and started frantic heart compressions. After about 6 or so, he started rousing and fighting me off him. His blue eyes seemed to stare unseeing and no black pupil was visible. Then the police arrived, at which time he was becoming half-conscious. After the ambulance got here he was almost normal, but agreed reluctantly to go to the hospital. He was feeling better except his chest hurt bad from my efforts. He was sure he had broken ribs but the X-ray didn't show any. They said that mild fractures don't show up on the X-rays. His heart test was fine. It was a scary time and I think having his brother die suddenly (at a younger age) recently, and then the horrible memory of my late husband dying in his sleep caused me to over-react. I honestly thought he was dead. Had I been thinking rationally I would have realized he wasn't. Or I would have thought to check for a pulse. or just waited for the ambulance. I feel really stupid now. And so sorry to see him hurting because of what I did to him.

There, I feel better getting all this heavy stuff off my chest. And yes, he caught a lot of fish. We had a great fish supper and I baked him a special "re-birth"day cake.


9 comments:

  1. I hope your husband is doing better!
    That must have been very frightening. Did the medical team find what caused it?
    As for the people coming across, it's terrible. I wish we could change the government.

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  2. Thanks. Yes, apparently it's quite common to faint after a hot shower due to a sudden drop in blood pressure. The heat constricts the blood flow to the brain. My laying him on the floor would have done the trick without breaking his ribs. He had a bad day today but I think tomorrow will be a bit better. His back hurt as bad or worse than his ribs tonight. He has a very bad back anyway and either the dropping him to the floor while unconscious or sitting in an awkward position all day makes his back hurt. Sometimes it acts up for no apparent reason, as does mine. I babied him all day, waiting on him hand and foot. I feel so bad. It was a combination of stupid and ignorance on my part, mixed with panic and fear and acute memories of other loved ones who dropped dead. Wiser now. But I'll sure be glad when he's better. He came back from fishing in a good mood with lots of fish and stories. That alone should have told me he wasn't in danger of dying. The other people I knew who dropped dead weren't feeling good before it happened. Duh!

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  3. I'm sure the re-birthday cake helped. : )

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  4. Yes, he's been very upbeat in spite of his pain. Today we got him dressed for the first time, so making progress.

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  5. So you didn't do exactly the right thing. But it wasn't a very wrong one either. It worked out OK and he got checked out medically. All good. A scary time for you. Glad YOU lived over it too. Breathe.

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    1. I appreciate your kind words. The experience was really a learning experience for me. Not to panic. Panic is never the right thing to do. It's the first time in my life I ever harmed another human being. I wish I could have the broken ribs instead. I should have been more knowledgeable. If I was 20 it's understandable. But I'm almost 78. Surely, I should know better. Panic is a terrible thing. It's true that our emotional brain over-rides our computer brain. I witnessed that in a traumatic way.

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  6. Also I knew he had been checked out medically a few weeks ago and was fine. And was fine before his shower. Really, it was nothing but panic and fear that guided me.

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  7. It's hard to "know better" or certainly "best" when somebody passes out. Especially someone close. The ribs will heal. Hello, Carolyn! You're a human being!! And we've all heard the stories about people who passed their stress tests and then dropped dead. I'm old too. Not as old as you, ha. But I do hope you can start to be less hard on yourself about this.

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    1. Thanks for your kind words. I just can't come to terms with my panicking. I have been through so much in my 77+ years and didn't really even know the meaning of the word panic. Honestly. I expect better of myself. Demand better. Hugh is feeling much better now, so he's pretty sure he just has bruised ribs, but honestly, I've been a caregiver all my life. I should be more competent. More knowledgeable. If not by now, then when? I screamed at the 911 operator to hurry, he's dying. Did I think to check his pulse or breathing? No. I dropped the phone or the operator might have told me to do that. Was he turning blue? No. But in my panic I had no reasoning ability. I truly believed he was suffering a heart attack. Never has my brain ever shut down like that before. I'll never get over that. I still beat myself up for mistakes I made in my teens and beyond. Can't help it. Just who I am, I guess. It's my way of dealing with life. But I do learn from my mistakes eventually. I will never panic again. I'll always remember how disastrous panic is. It's ironic how many 911 calls I've heard on TV in the news etc. They tell you what to do. Why didn't I pay attention? I'm assuming she tried anyway. I was just hell-bent on keeping his heart beating until help arrived. It's a wonder pounding on his perfectly well-beating heart didn't damage it. He came to just as the medics were arriving. They got here really quickly, like in 2 minutes.

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